Loving-kindness meditation: how to practise metta

What it is

In loving-kindness meditation you silently repeat short phrases that wish someone well, for example “May you be happy” and “May you be free from suffering”. You start with people for whom kindness comes easily and move step by step towards people for whom it is harder. In the traditional order:

1. Yourself.
2. Someone you love, such as a good friend or family member.
3. Someone neutral, a person you see but hardly know.
4. Someone difficult, a person you are in conflict with or find hard.
5. Everyone, all people and all living beings.

The order is not fixed. Researchers note that it can be adapted to the person, so if one step is too hard for now, change it or come back to it later.

How to do it

1. Sit comfortably and notice your breath for a few moments.
2. Bring yourself to mind and silently repeat phrases such as:
   • May I be safe from harm.
   • May I be happy.
   • May I be free from suffering.
3. Move to the next person. Picture them and offer the same wishes: “May you be safe. May you be happy…”
4. Continue outwards, one circle at a time, ending with everyone.
5. When your mind wanders, come back to the phrases, just as you come back to the breath in other meditation.

Use words that feel natural to you; the phrases are a support, not a formula. Sources do not set a length, so start with a few minutes, as with any meditation (see meditation for beginners).

When it feels hard

Many people feel awkward, numb or even irritated at first, especially when wishing themselves well or thinking of a difficult person. A research review notes that loving-kindness meditation may be challenging at first for some people. You do not have to produce a feeling; offering the wish is the practice. If a step brings up too much, go back to an easier circle.

Meditation in general is low risk, but not risk-free: across studies, about 8 in 100 people have an unpleasant experience, most often anxiety or low mood.

What research says

• Positive emotions. In a study of 139 working adults, those who learned loving-kindness meditation over seven weeks felt more positive emotions day to day. Over time this was linked to more purpose, more social support, higher life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms. The comparison group was a waiting list, and all measures were self-reported.
• A meta-analysis of 24 studies with 1,759 people found that loving-kindness meditation increases daily positive emotions, with small to moderate effects. Many of the studies had a high risk of bias.
• A meta-analysis of 22 randomised trials found that kindness-based meditation reduced self-reported depression compared with no treatment, and increased mindfulness and compassion. Compared with other active treatments, the results were inconclusive. The quality of the studies was low to moderate.
• PTSD. In a pilot with 42 veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder, a 12-week course was followed by fewer PTSD and depression symptoms three months later. There was no control group, so it is an early signal only.